The mermaid bash (and a minor tragedy)

I am insane.  Really.  Not only did I agree to throw a mermaid birthday party for Katie one week before I’m about to give birth, but I decided that I would sew tails for all the girls.  And I decided not to go the “no-sew tail” route (which would have been perfectly fine).  Nope.  I had to make them ultra cute.  And they were.  But I was a mad woman sewing all week.  My house looks like a glitter bomb has gone off.  I’ve had to shower every night before bed so that we weren’t sleeping in a bed of glitter (which sounds romantic, but isn’t really).  However, I completed the tails in time to watch Project Runway with my friends on Thursday night, which was the goal.  I didn’t get a tail sewn for Averi, but I convinced her that she would be just fine wearing the mermaid costume that we already own.  And so, without further ado, here are the mermaid tails:   Awww!!  Such cute girls!  When Averi saw that I had taken the tail picture without her in it, she was devastated.  She had to run in and get her skirt on so that she could take a picture just like the girls.   It’s supposed to be a skirt, but she wears it hiked up to her chest so that she doesn’t trip over it, since it’s way too big. And she needed someone to put an arm around her, so big brother (and tail-less) Paul was happy to oblige.  We started the party off by making mermaids out of round clothespins.  I think the girls had a great time with this fun little craft, and it was quite simple to do.     Here’s Paul’s very un-girly merman.  He decided against the red hair and went to town with the manly blue marker. Here’s the food table mostly complete; we were just missing the octodogs and the blue jello, since we didn’t want them to get ruined in the sun.   Cupcakes.  I cheated and ordered the cupcakes from Wal-Mart and just decorated them at home.  For six bucks, there was no way I was going to make them myself.  We hung net under the pergola and filled them with balloons.  It looked quite cute until the wind picked up and popped about 30 of them on the grass.  But fortunately the wind stayed pretty calm for most of the party. Even though I planned most things quite well, I forgot birthday candles for the birthday girl.  I was sure we would have a 6 on hand, but no.  We had 1-5 and 7, but no six.  So we made do with a 5 and a 1, since they equal 6 (even though it looks like she’s turning 51). Loving the Kool-Aid Coolers.  It’s a throwback to my childhood.  I’ve never bought them for my kids before, so they were ecstatic.  I love how Paul’s managed to spill all over his chest.  Do you know how small the holes in those bottles are?  He had to have worked at making such a mess. My beautiful (almost) six-year-old! A very hot Averi.  It was probably close to 100 that day.  Perfect for running through the sprinklers, but very, very warm. And thus our tragic tale begins.  Let me introduce you to Max: Katie has been asking for a fish for a while.  After asking around, I found that bettas had a pretty good reputation for being indestructible.  And we needed indestructible.  We have a long history of dead fish in my family.  So since the party theme was mermaids, I thought that the fish would make a great present and would also look adorable on the food table as a decoration.  Two birds (err…fish) with one stone! I ran out that morning (Friday) at about 10 and bought the fish.  Katie loved her fish.  She named it Max and all the girls were constantly running over to check on the fish.  At the end of the party, one of the moms came over to check everything out, and we stopped to look at the fish.  That’s when we noticed that the fish was floating.  Upside down.  Poor Max was a goner.  He was in a glass bowl, outside, for 2 1/2 hours, on a 100 degree day.  He cooked to death.  The water inside the bowl was so hot that there was no way he could have possibly survived.  I had Aaron whisk the bowl into the garage to keep it hidden so that we didn’t have any tears during the party.  As soon as the guests left, Katie ran inside asking where her fish was.  “Oh, we had to take him inside because he was getting too hot.” (Was he ever!)  “Yes, but WHERE is he?”  “Ummm…don’t you think you should take your presents upstairs?”  So after coming up with one lame diversion after another, I finally managed to slip out of the house and run to Wal-Mart.  Fortunately they had several blue bettas on hand, so I grabbed one and ran home.  We pulled off the switcheroo while the kids were all upstairs resting, and no one is any wiser. I feel terrible, but it’s completely hilarious at the same time.  What kind of person am I?  I manage to kill an indestructible fish in less than three hours.  At my daughter’s party.  I boiled her fish.  I’m sure if there are any animal rights activists reading my blog, they’re howling and demanding that I see justice.  But it was perfectly innocent!  I really did not think at all about the implications of having a live fish in a glass bowl outside in 100 degree heat.  He’s in water, right?  Water makes you cool, doesn’t it?  Poor Maxy.  When Katie woke up from her nap, she informed me that she had thought of an even better name for her fish.  He’s now Mikey.  Appropriate that he has a new name, since it’s a completely different fish.  I’ll tell her when she’s old enough to see the humor in it.  Like when she’s 15. Averi’s post-cupcake face After lunch we had a relay race.  The girls had to fill up their bucket with as much water as they could before time ran out.  The trick was that they had to use a sand shovel.   It was so funny to see their different personalities shine during this game.  Some of the girls were SO competitive!  And others could have cared less who won.  After the game we opened presents.  Katie loved every single one of the gifts she got. Katie’s reading so well now.  She loves reading, and she’s at the point where she can read most things to herself.  Such a big girl!   After presents we got out the sprinkler for them to play in.  Would you believe that in August I could only find ONE fun sprinkler after going to several stores?  Come on, people.  It’s still summer!  It’s HOT!!  Do we really need coats and Christmas trees out?  We then introduced the kids to Red Rover.  I have to say, I now understand why this game was banned at our elementary school.  Paul got clothes-lined, and there were several near incidents.  I’m just glad that we sent everyone home without them needing trips to urgent care. We wrapped up the party with a dance competition.  This was ADORABLE!!  You should have seen them all singing and belting out “Dynamite.”  I loved it.  We’ve got it recorded, and it’s quite hilarious.  Overall, it went really, really well.  I felt especially good when I heard one guest say, “I think this might be even better than my party, and I had a pinata!”  Seal of approval from a six-year-old.  I’ll take it.

Flagstaff Trip

We were home for two weeks after we visited Utah.  During that time Katie participated in the Zoo Day Camp, which she absolutely loved.  What kid doesn’t enjoy going to the zoo every day and getting behind the scenes tours?  Definitely recommended for any Burquenos reading the blog.  Paul just missed the age cutoff (story of his life thus far), but he was able to participate in a pond day camp that one of my friends put on.  So after our two weeks of semi-recuperation, we headed off to Flagstaff to spend a week with Aaron’s family. Apparently I was pretty bad at taking pictures on this trip as well, but I do have some highlights. Slide Rock, my very favorite.  More fun when you’re not pregnant, but really, what isn’t.   Hiking in the lava tubes.  Averi and I opted out of this one.  I wasn’t really interested in being hunched over for two miles, and I knew it would be too tough for Averi.  Katie and Paul had a great time with the rest of the family, though. Connie threw a very early birthday party for the three kids, since we wouldn’t be with the whole family before birthday season began.   Cutest Tinkerbell I’ve ever seen.  She also got a Jasmine and a Rapunzel dress.  If you know Averi, you know that those are the best presents EVER. Some more knights and an awesome dragon to go with his collection. Katie got the American Girl doll Kanani.  I’m living vicariously through her.  I wanted Samantha SO BAD.  But at least my kids can get one.  We’ve loved dressing her up and having tea parties. Jedi-in-training. We have our own Star Wars Kid (except ours is the right age).  He was performing moves all night.  He loves his light saber so much that it needs to be confiscated about every other day. Averi brushing “Tangled’s” hair.  Does anyone else’s kids call characters by the name of the movie they’re in?  For the longest time, Woody was Toy Story, every Star Wars character is a Star War, Simba is Lion King, and Rapunzel is Tangled.  And by the time Averi got through with her beauty treatment, she certainly lived up to her name. Matching girls and dolls.  Does it get more adorable?  We visited Walnut Canyon and saw the cliff dwellings there.  It’s amazing how well preserved some of them are. There was an arts festival on Saturday, so we went and did some browsing and shopping.  While there, we got to go into a little petting zoo that they had.  If you know me well, you would know that I was in seventh heaven because they had GOATS!  Is there anything cuter than a baby goat?  These goats were the sweetest things ever.  If we had the space, I would have taken one home with me in a heartbeart.  I loved them.  The kids did as well, especially Averi. This was a big deal.  Katie is NOT an animal person.  She’s quite skittish.  But she did very well with all of them and even pet the pig.   This one loved Averi.  Many goat kisses were given.   One day I will have goats.  One day. There were other things we didn’t get pictures of.  The boys and Abby all hiked the Grand Canyon while the rest of the girls and kids shopped in Sedona (not the original plan; this was the backup since our car keys somehow wound up halfway down the Grand Canyon when it was time for us to leave for Williams to take the train).  We managed to get the train mess sorted out and rescheduled, so the next day Connie, Kerry, Adam and Julie took the kids on the train to the Grand Canyon while we were at Walnut Canyon.  They had a great time, though the loud guns of the “train robbers” scared them.  We visited the Arboretum, took the kids swimming, and did some shopping in downtown Flagstaff.  Everyone had a great trip.  Thanks so much, Connie and Kerry!  We love you!

Some thoughts on child rearing, tolerance, and respect

Sounds deep, no? A friend posted the following article on Facebook, and for some reason I’ve been dwelling on this all morning. I’m sure it’s because I’m hormonal and only 3 weeks from giving birth, but I thought that perhaps airing my thoughts on this matter would let it die in my mind. “Offending” article: The no-kids allowed movement is spreading For those that don’t have the time or inclination to read the article, the summary is this: Airplanes, restaurants, hotels, grocery stores, movie theaters, and even outdoor areas are banning children, and it seems that the majority of the public couldn’t be happier about it. Actually, I have no issue with banning children from places they are not welcome. I, as a parent, would much rather know that my children are not tolerated and take them someplace they are welcome. If a hotel is not child-friendly, I want to know about it. If I’m going to get an eyeroll from every server that walks past my table, I want to eat somewhere else. If there are going to be activities that are not child-appropriate going on, I want to know and take them someplace safe. There are plenty of places that are appropriate for or even aimed at children. Disney, Costco, Chili’s, summer movies at the theater: I’m talking about you. If I want to take my kids somewhere, I’m going there. If I want to go out to a late movie or to a nice restaurant, I’m hiring a babysitter. So, on the surface it would seem that I have no problem with the article. But I do. And the 12,000+ comments make it even more obvious what my real issue is. People have no idea how hard it is to be a parent and have zero respect for the role of families. Sure, there are parents out there who are rude and oblivious and who have no clue that their little darlings appear as hellions to everyone else. But in my experience, that’s not the norm. The fact is, kids are kids. Their self-control is poor and their judgement is usually worse. They do stupid things. They get frustrated. They cry—sometimes for no perceivable reason. A parent’s job is to teach them how to control themselves and how to exercise better judgement. When we had a dog (so very, very glad that is in the past tense!), I did a lot of research about training. A dog cannot be trained in only one environment. He needs to be taken to new places and have new experiences to learn how to behave in all sorts of conditions. No matter how well your dog can sit at home, he often cannot translate that to different environments if he is not exposed to those environments and trained there. There is a reason guide dogs are brought to every conceivable setting to be trained. Like it or not, training a child is very much like training a dog. A child who never leaves home will never know how to behave outside of the home. How is a child supposed to learn what manners and behaviors are appropriate for a restaurant if she has never been to one? How will a child learn how to sit through a quiet meeting if he’s never been expected to do so? As a parent, part of your job is to expose your child to new situations. And that’s where the trouble begins. One commenter to the article mentioned that he had no respect for parents who let their kids cry in a store without leaving. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so annoyed. Who HASN’T had a kid that has had a meltdown in a store? Kids do that. And trust me, even though we may be trying to be stoic and stone-faced, it’s mortifying. But a parent faces only a few options: 1. Do anything to make the kid shut up. Not usually a good plan. This generally involves acquiescing to whatever demand the child is making at the time, which is leads to the brats everyone claims to hate. 2. Shout at kid and/or smack them. Again, not a good plan. 3. Leave store immediately. Sounds good in theory, but not always practical. If it is practical, do it. It saves everyone a lot of headaches. But sometimes you really do have to buy those groceries. And so leaving a full cart unceremoniously parked in an aisle is not always an option. I’ve done it in the past, but it’s generally not something I’m willing/able to do. 4. Try to reason with child. Ha. Anyone tried reasoning with a 2-year-old lately while they’re in the middle of a tantrum? 5. Ignore child so you don’t reward him with your attention and get out of there as quick as you can. This is generally what happens. Grab the milk and the bread and run to the nearest cash register. Now, if I’m crazy (and I frequently am) and out pleasure shopping with my adorable minions in tow, I will leave if someone acts up, and they know it. There’s seldom a reason you HAVE to be at Gap. But if I choose to finish my grocery shopping with a crying child, it doesn’t make me a bad parent or my children brats. It means that I’m desperate, embarrassed, and in a hurry. I’ve found that people who are intolerant towards children generally fall into two demographics: those who have never raised children and those who have but seem to have forgotten what it’s like. This second group is usually at least in their 50s and usually women. These are the women who come up to your nine-month-old, grab her feet (which neither cold nor hot), and say in a sickly adorable voice, “Oh, poor baby! Your feet are freezing! You should tell your mommy that you need socks on!” Mommy then pulls out the sock from her pocket which she has put on and picked up off the floor no less than seven times in five minutes. Annoying lady shakes her head, thinking something about how incompetent mothers are these days and how when she was raising kids, her baby would have been well-mannered enough to keep her socks on. Not helpful. Essentially, the solution to the problem is two-fold: respect and tolerance. Parents, be respectful of others. Don’t take an over-tired 3-year-old to a 10pm showing of Eclipse. Don’t look the other way while your child runs amok in a restaurant. Don’t go out if you know your child is likely to have a meltdown. Don’t push their limits more than you absolutely have to. Apologize to other (if appropriate) for your children’s misbehavior. People without young children, be tolerant. Being a parent of young kids is hard. Very, very hard. Parents aren’t perfect. Kids aren’t perfect. But in general, we are trying. I will be forever grateful to strangers who have helped me out in awkward situations. I wanted to kiss the lady on the plane who entertained Averi for 30 minutes with the mirror from her purse. Another kiss nearly went to the security guard who found my lost child and didn’t make me feel like a bad parent, even when it was obvious I hadn’t realized she was even missing. Although the eyerolls and condescending remarks seem to outnumber the kindnesses, I remember the good things more. Strangers can make a world of difference.